Truly Haunted

Thinking of experiences as “in the past” is such strange concept to grasp,

when vivid memory's can have such a vast and deep impact on our routine lives.

The thought of something or someone can influence our every move

and if something similar to a spectre existed it's a haunting image in our head.

Just leave me the fuck alone.

Change Has Changed Nothing

I’m twenty two, still unsure of myself

Still unsure of a purpose or reason

Who I am, what I want, what I need

This teenaged angst has lasted long enough

Emotions flood every sense and perception

Reminded by my past, haunted by the present

And tormented by the future ahead of me

Waiting and taunting through the unknown

I can’t see myself five years from now

Four years, three years, two, one

Six months, two months, four weeks, two

Only tomorrow appears blurry and out of focus

Once again in my life it’s time for change

It’s time to re-invent myself from the ground up

Smash the mirrors until I’m ready to look upon myself

Because at this moment I’m so...

Obsession

Love? Lust? I simply generalize and designate it obsession
Of course not recognized and of course completely unrequited
To you I exist yet I am so insignificant, so worthless
Which I think is worse since I can touch you but never hold

I will never know the taste of your lips against mine
I will never hear your voice so fragile while you rest in my embrace
I will never see your smile reserved strictly for behind closed doors
I will never share my life with you the way my heart craves

So close my imagination need not wonder far

You're so open my shame is nearly non-existent
And like any lover it is covered by my need to read you like a book

And I have

I know your flaws, I know your perfections
Your faults, your success, your scars, and that which has hurt you the most

I know of your lies, your truths, your past, your present
And I pray for a future with me forever by your side

But a dream is just that, a dream
For however real as I sleep, never is it so when I wake

Therefor I have begun to indulge myself gradually in false reality
From pure ecstasy with you below and a most unsatisfactory realization of mirage
To spending most moments in a very embarrassing daydream
That I find harder to let go of with each occurrence

I discover this obsession to be increasingly unhealthy
Self-loathing, embarrassment, hate, love, need, rejection, and more so than all of that...confusion

Am I living a lie by living with obsession?
Is this obsession causing me to lie to others?
Yes. No. I haven't the slightest clue.

All I know is this obsession, love or lust.
Is causing me to see your face in everything around me

Food is bland. The world is grey. My body is numb.
And the longer I live with this and without you
The more I wither. The more I die.
The more I lose touch with reality in favor of a lie.

Time

Time is a gift, truly it is precious
And we waste so god damn much of it.
When we should cherish every second,
Squeezing every moment as if it's our last.

Break from routine, escape the normal
And embrace something entirely new
Something foreign, something unusual
As if it were fate, destined to be.

But never regret the end result.
Never look at the past with disgrace.
Never utter the words “what if”.
And above all...

Never forget.

Love Eternally

With all my heart I wish this moment would never come to a close

As a smile darts across your face and you begin to laugh

When everything ceases and all I see is you radiating gloriously

Glowing beautifully, blinding me from the distractions presented

With all my heart I pray each day I am able to be with you

Even for a fleeting moment to sustain my need. No! My addiction!

The constant craving where I cannot seem to remove you from my mind

And nothing else matter's, only you and your memory which cannot suffice

Love instantly. Love perfectly. Love ever-lasting.

Never Forgotten

When a beautiful soul is quickly ripped from this plane of existence
We can do nothing but weep, pray, mourn, and hope we are being looked down upon
Belief that beyond our rudimentary universe there is a gorgeous creation
In which our loved ones who have passed away can live again on the far side of our earthly concern

We trust that any suffering they seasoned while among us is relieved from them
And more so they are again in company of their beloved who were taken away
We desire them to once again be youthful and full of energy, forever young
Able to enjoy whatever brought a smile to their face while living beside us

I refuse to accept a reality in which everything is created so haphazardly and random
For I see and can realize the stunning beauty that surrounds me in all directions
And of course the horror of watching someone so cherished ripped from my grasp
So suddenly that I curse the heavens in spite and anger...and beyond that confusion

But soon enough my chaotic emotions dwindle to acceptance and the aforementioned hope
Hope and remembrance of the joy they brought us whenever in their presence
The honoring of the life they lived, their accomplishments and triumphs
And never forgetting the simple fact that even though physically they're not here

They will always stand beside us in spirit as long as our love stays always true

Nightlife

Remove the krylon top, I live in the night facing down bare walls
Brick and concrete, they transform into canvas before my eyes
Trucks, trains, and signs; you can even find me in bathroom stalls

I move in silence blending in under the moonlight above
Traversing city street’s and alleys with my bag in hand
Sketchbook and spray cans, this is what you call love

My name has no meaning, I’m known under my alias
I spread through whispers and hushed tones of admiration
Respect and accusation even beyond my hometown radius

I am a graffiti artist, an underground modern day knight
Persecuted by politicians and painted over on sight
But as one is censored two more will appear with light

Because while the world sleeps I will be painting every night